Q: I'd love to hear how your parents counseled you all 兴发xf881手机版about engagement and marriage.What did they tell you to look for in a husband??
A: There is so much to say on this topic,but here are a few"starter"questions Dad and Mom gave us when we were considering marriage,These are taken from our book,,Girl Talk,在妈妈写的一章里：
C.J.我试图为我们的女儿提供list"from Scripture of essential qualities that should characterize any man desirous of pursuing them.这些品质包括：1.对上帝真正的热情。最大的命令就是“全心全意、全心全意、全心全意地爱耶和华你的上帝”（马特）。22:37）单纯的信仰职业是不够的。A godly man will consistently display love,服从，对救世主的热情不断高涨。2。谦卑。‘这就是我要找的人，' says the Lord,‘he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word' (Isa.66:2).你女儿肯定会嫁给一个罪人。But if he is a humble and teachable sinner who is quick to repent,那么他一定会在敬虔中成长。这种谦卑也将在他对神的道的爱和顺服中显现出来。三。Love for the local church.At the center of God's plan on earth is His church.A young man must be pursuing fellowship and serving faithfully in a local church if he is to make a good candidate for a husband.4.圣经对男人和女人的信仰。兴发xf881手机版成功的婚姻在很大程度上是由于一对夫妇掌握了各自的角色和责任。A potential husband must be committed to complementary roles found in Scripture.他必须准备好承担起爱和领导妻子的责任。(Eph.5:22-25).除了把这个年轻人和这张必需品清单作比较外，we also helped our daughters evaluate God's commands to wives.从《圣经》中我们问女儿们每个人都在考虑的关于这个年轻人的问题如下：你是否完全尊重这个男人，就像妻子被召唤来尊重她的丈夫一样？你能像教会向基督屈服一样，热切地向他屈服吗？-Do you have faith to follow this man no matter where he may lead?-Can you love this man with a tender,affectionate love?（1科尔）11:3;Eph.5:22，33;Col.3:8；Titus 2:4-5) Again,this list of qualities and questions is hardly exhaustive.然而，它提供了清晰的，objective,and biblical criteria to assist our daughters in discerning God's will.
Recently I spent some 下载兴发pt首页登录time with another mom.And you know what?惊奇，惊奇，,she's another Margie.This woman is a better mom than me,在很多方面。You can see the fruit of her consistency,her patience,and her loving authority in her children's lives.
现在，I had to choose how I was going to respond to this mother's maturity.There are a few sinful,and sadly well-worn options:
Option #1: Feel sorry for myself. I'm a terrible mom.I'm a complete failure.对我的孩子们有什么希望？我太努力了，但似乎总是达不到要求。I'll never be as good a mom as she is.（一切都被溅射了，in between sobs,to my long-suffering husband.)
Option #2: Make excuses. Well,她当然是个好妈妈。她比我有很多优势，而且她没有独特的挑战要应对。If only my situation was more like hers,那我可能会比她做得更好。
Option #3: Judge and Resent. She probably thinks she is better than me.我只是不认为我能和一个让我觉得很低人一等的人在一起。I need to be with people who are real 兴发xf881手机版about their weaknesses and failures,just like me.
或者，there is a better,圣经的方式……
选项4：表示感谢并学习。 感谢上帝把这个女人带到我的生活中。感谢你的方式，她给你的荣耀。Thank you for the way that her children are bringing glory to your name.我祈祷你能保佑她。我祈祷你能帮助我向她学习。请帮助我保持一致，更多病人，more loving toward my children,for their good and your glory.Thank you for this woman who provokes and stirs me up"去爱和好的作品”（希伯书10:24） Help me to grow,by your grace.In Jesus' mighty name,Amen.
And then give her a call,请她出去喝咖啡，好的笔记。
Now that's a better option.
"Seen from the outside,家务活看起来像是一项毫无意义的工作，不会给你任何回报或完成感。Yet housekeeping actually offers more opportunities for savoring achievement than almost any other work I can think of.它的每一个常规程序在完成时都会带来满足感。These routines echo the rhythm of life,and the housekeeping rhythm is the rhythm of the body.You get satisfaction not only from the sense of order,清洁，freshness,恢复了和平与富足，但从你自己和你关心的人将享受这些好处的认识来看。”兴发xf881手机版~Cheryl Mendelson,,居家舒适：居家的艺术与科学
已经很久了，下载兴发pt首页登录but do any of our long-下载兴发pt首页登录time readers remember back four years ago when we asked you to send in your stories for a new book Mom and Nicole were writing 兴发xf881手机版about beauty?I think I see a few hands out there.Well,today I'm excited to announce thatTrue Beauty终于完成了，and is scheduled for release byCrossway Books3月31日，2014.
We're particularly excited to share this news with you,因为True Beauty已经出现，in part,from the conversation we feel so blessed to have with all of you here at吉尔塔克The book is full of the stories,questions,斗争，and comments that so many of you shared with us.
True Beautyis also the fruit of your prayers—both at the beginning of the writing process in 2010,去年春天，我们再次向你祈祷project"我们正在完成。(Mom and Nicole wanted to wait until they were sure they could finish the book before announcing its publication!)
不管是不适合年龄的化妆品还是最新的饮食时尚，our culture continually tells women that beauty consists of flawless skin and a supermodel figure.真正的美，Carolyn Mahaney和她的女儿Nicole Whitacre告诉我们上帝话语的真实性，where we encounter an entirely different—and refreshingly liberating—standard of beauty.
Offering a path to freedom from the false idols that society,Devil我们罪恶的心经常创造，this encouraging book will help you to exchange the temporary glamour of pop culture for the unfading beauty of godliness.
And to whet your appetites even more,here is a taste of what others are saying 兴发xf881手机版aboutTrue Beauty:
-南希·古思里，,圣经教师；author,Seeing Jesus in the Old Testament Bible study series
"Combining the eminently practical with the deeply theological,Carolyn and Nicole give us a work that is both terrifically up-to-date and rooted in God's unchanging Word.
-凯文和特里莎·德扬，,Senior Pastor,大学改革教会，East Lansing,密歇根。Kevin and Trisha have been married for 12 years and have six children.
-韦伯和道德·基思·辛普森，,职业高尔夫球手，PGA Tour,和他的妻子，mother of three
"This book should be read by every Christian woman and it should be put in the hands of every young girl as soon she can understand it.These gifted authors have not only written a book;they have launched a revolution.""
—Al and Mary Mohler,,President,南方浸信会神学院；和他的妻子，玛丽，南浸礼会神学院妻子神学院院长
Mom and Nicole are so grateful for your participation and prayers and hope this book will be an encouragement to each one of you.Having read it myself,I can assure you that it will.
I think it adds character,是吗？?
Recently,a young woman asked us:"Why do you think so many young Christian women these days resist godly advice from other Christian women?""
现在我认识很多年轻的女人，她们都很渴望，desperate even,for godly advice.But particularly on the Internet,there seems to be a trend of some下载兴发pt首页登录times labeling godly counsel as legalistic or condemning.
授予，if you've had the unpleasant culinary experience of an extra-biblical opinion shoved down your throat,you may not be asking for another.But more often than not,I wonder if this reaction comes from sinful comparison,害怕兴发xf881手机版自卑，对圣经如何处理嫉妒和嫉妒带来的负面情绪感到困惑。
But Jesus' exhortation in John 21:"那对你来说是什么？You follow me?""is not an encouragement to isolationist Christianity.It does not encourage individualism and pride.更确切地说，跟随基督使我们变得更谦卑，这使我们更深入地与其他信徒的社区，无论他们的背景和环境不同，也试图跟随上帝。
事实上，耶稣没有说，"Don't ever look at others.Put your blinders on and look only to me."No,他说，"Don't look to othersin envy and sinful comparison.但是做look to other,godly,Christians to imitate and follow their example.""
彼得前书三章，我们被告知要仰望过去的圣女，考虑她们的生活方式。In Titus 2 the younger women are to learn from the older women.Paul says it plainly in 1 Corinthians 11:1:"Be imitators of me,as I am of Christ.""
这些诗句并不意味着我们必须接受我们收到的每一个建议，or that well-intended advice is infallible advice.但谦卑的心要留心，寻求智慧的所在。A humble heart has no problem admitting someone has followed farther than we have;它跑去追赶。
所以，让我们不要试图治愈罪恶的骄傲和尖锐的个人主义的骄傲。Let's lean in to learn.让我们继续深入了解基督，and let's look around for those God has placed in our lives to teach us how to obey his command:"you follow me.""
Thanking God today for all of the men and women whose biblical vision and courageous sacrifice made our family possible.